1-9-11
Sitting on a hill waiting, being still but by no means doing nothing. I am silent, my soul is quiet, my spirit actively listening, waiting, resting on God.
The wind begins to move. I feel my hair rustle at its presence. The grass surrounding me tickles my legs. Birds chirp and sing their song to the Father who created them-who takes care of them.
The warmth of the sun kisses my skin-tenderly caressing my face.
I sit. I wait. I am still.
The wind picks up and I can hear it whistling in my ears. My hair delights in a dance around my face, stray stand ticking the back of my neck and cheeks. Contrasting with the warmth of the sun, the wind takes con a colder feel, briskly brushing my skin.
Slowly the sun's embrace lessens as the wind wins its cold battle. Clouds close over the sky, covering the earth in a dark blanket.I am separated from the sun's warm rays and the center stage now belongs to the wind as it makes its voice heard loud and howling. My hair no longer enjoying a lazy dance but now thrashing around me quite violently. The brisk chill of the stinging rush of wind has my skin rising in goose bumps.
Off in the distance rumbling growls of thunder speaks to the howling wind, forming a conversation of a bitter, threatening kind. My spine stiffens at the approach of a storm and my soul urges me to move from my spot on the hillside.
I sit. I wait. I am still.
I strengthen my will, for my spirit is calm and remains wanting to listen to His voice.
My head jerks slightly with surprise as a cold droplet of rain splashes against my cheek. I take a deep breath deciding I really should move. A whisper cuts through the screeching wind--wait, be still...remain.
I steel my resolve, not understanding but willing to obey. My mind screams against the soft whispers as my spirit clings to the reassuring softness. My eyes close tighter and my spirit rises above my soul. I wait.
Droplets fall faster now, harder against my skin. My clothes are slowly soaking--the wet cold chilling down to my bones.
My body shivers, my soul screams, but my spirit remains still.
Thunder begins to drown out even the beating of my heart. Lightening cracks and I jump at the harsh sound. The wind rushing against me makes it harder to sit still now. My hair that once danced in the air now sticks lifeless to my head, dripping water onto the rest of me. the ground beneath me gets softer and I can feel myself sink a little into the mud. I'm thoroughly soaked and the wind is buffeting against me. Rain drops feel like small pin pricks now as the cold is determined to beat into me.
My body shivers, my soul screams, my spirit stays still.
And then I hear a song. Its soft, barely audible as it is carried on the howling of the wind. But I can feel the melody deep inside as it finds me. It grows louder- a steady build against the roaring of wind and thunder. Lightening strikes and my eyes jerk wide open. Scorched earth smells off to my side and my heart stills. But the song regains my focus as I realize I'm singing the melody. The song is within me and bursting forth being carried by the wind. Soon the rain slows down and I feel the clouds break.
The sun greets my face as a long friend who has returned to me. Off in the distant sky color catches my eye and I see a rainbow. It's faint but beautiful none the less. The wind has slowed and the rain has stopped. I watch the rainbow, grateful for its faint whisper of beauty. Do my eyes deceive me though or are the colors getting brighter? Maybe my eyes are adjusting...no the rainbow is growing in size--its getting closer. The colors are becoming more solid the closer the get to me. My breathing speeds and becomes shallow as the rainbow moves closer to me. Its rushing me now and my body braces for a crash.
The colors collide with me and break apart. Its a symphony or colors moving around me each having its own song or melody, some singing a harmony as they dance around me. I can feel them pass through me even as well as see them move in elegant grace around my body. Laughter bubbles from within me and pours out of my mouth as this glorious display of affection envelopes me with His joy and His life. I feel a healing presence and a comfort that I had not before. The wind is now gently dancing around me, helping the warmth of the sun dry me out.
My spirit rejoices. It was still and was rewarded. The storm passed and did not harm me, yet I did not have to lift a finger to save myself. I did not strive. I did not trust in my own soulish whispers but remained in the voice of my spirit. I waited through the storm and was presented with a presence of God like I have never known. A precious gift to me given by my Father, the Creator.
My soul screamed, demanding to be heard. Had I listened I would have missed it all.
My Spirit was still and in the waiting I saw the Glory of God.
1/10/11
9/27/10
That's who I am?
Has someone ever told you their first impression of you and it shocked you?
Or how about someone telling you that you sound one way when you think it sounds a complete different way?
Or maybe you said something and meant it one way but the person took it completely different?
I think we all go through something like that. But what is it about us that thinks we sound normal when really that phrase that just left our mouth came out completely rude or harsh to everyone who heard it?
Is it pride in us that tells us we sound fine? Are we just products of our culture or family atmosphere?
And when we realize that this is a problem and we try to fix it but nothing gets better, what do we do?
We pray for God's help and grace right?
Well, what if I've been doing that for a year and yet still get told that a lot of my remarks come off sounding harsh and rude?
What then?
Or how about someone telling you that you sound one way when you think it sounds a complete different way?
Or maybe you said something and meant it one way but the person took it completely different?
I think we all go through something like that. But what is it about us that thinks we sound normal when really that phrase that just left our mouth came out completely rude or harsh to everyone who heard it?
Is it pride in us that tells us we sound fine? Are we just products of our culture or family atmosphere?
And when we realize that this is a problem and we try to fix it but nothing gets better, what do we do?
We pray for God's help and grace right?
Well, what if I've been doing that for a year and yet still get told that a lot of my remarks come off sounding harsh and rude?
What then?
9/21/10
On your mark...get set....GO!
And we're off!
Literally this year has taken off at a fast pace and it will be all I can do to keep up. In fact, the only way to keep up is to make sure I'm running with God. So much has already happen that it is overwhelming a bit. God has sure set the pace for us this year and it's not just a sprint but long distance sprint.
Induction went smooth and the Lord was speaking freely. It was awesome. Gary and Sandy Cake were with us this weekend and gave us a message that I will be digesting for years as I realize what it means for me and my generation.
I'm so excited though. This weekend as we inducted Laurie, Tim and Melissa it became clear that this was a strong class that God hand picked for this year. It was even spoken over them that they would start where our class left off instead of having to start over at step 1! That is such a testament to their character and strength in Him. I'm so honored and blessed to be a part of this year.
Bring in on Lord. Just stay with us!
9-21-10
Literally this year has taken off at a fast pace and it will be all I can do to keep up. In fact, the only way to keep up is to make sure I'm running with God. So much has already happen that it is overwhelming a bit. God has sure set the pace for us this year and it's not just a sprint but long distance sprint.
Induction went smooth and the Lord was speaking freely. It was awesome. Gary and Sandy Cake were with us this weekend and gave us a message that I will be digesting for years as I realize what it means for me and my generation.
I'm so excited though. This weekend as we inducted Laurie, Tim and Melissa it became clear that this was a strong class that God hand picked for this year. It was even spoken over them that they would start where our class left off instead of having to start over at step 1! That is such a testament to their character and strength in Him. I'm so honored and blessed to be a part of this year.
Bring in on Lord. Just stay with us!
9-21-10
9/13/10
Back to the Beginning, but not quite...
I'm back in Oklahoma city. The place where I started my amazing journey to find my Lord and King as my Father. The year was truly a blessing without measure or words to explain the depth of my findings. I can say that I came out of the year with glorious treasures.
I didn't make writing here a priority like I wanted to but I'm going to try again. Here I am this year, not as a student but as an intern but I know God has so much more to teach me just in a different way this year. I'm excited to see all that he does in the three students for this year. I'm amazed that I get to be a part of their journey.
Coming back to Oklahoma I find myself reunited with four of my classmates: Levi and Mel join me as Interns, Ryan and Hannah complete us as Externs. It's wonderful but also bittersweet as we are missing vital parts in Sarah, Ariana and Joseph (!Brightside! He belongs to the church so we shall see him often)
Tim, Laurie, and Melissa W. will be joining us Saturday as students and a new family will become a work in progress.
Many things have tried to stand in the way of this year but through all the sadness and pain we have come to remember that it is not unto death but unto the Glory of God. He has plans for this year and so far they are getting my blood pumping in a way that only His creativity and joy can! I'm so excited to see what this chapter of my life will tell, writing it shall be more of a priority this year as I plan on making this part of my journaling experience; combining technology with my leather bound greatness of paper.
I didn't make writing here a priority like I wanted to but I'm going to try again. Here I am this year, not as a student but as an intern but I know God has so much more to teach me just in a different way this year. I'm excited to see all that he does in the three students for this year. I'm amazed that I get to be a part of their journey.
Coming back to Oklahoma I find myself reunited with four of my classmates: Levi and Mel join me as Interns, Ryan and Hannah complete us as Externs. It's wonderful but also bittersweet as we are missing vital parts in Sarah, Ariana and Joseph (!Brightside! He belongs to the church so we shall see him often)
Tim, Laurie, and Melissa W. will be joining us Saturday as students and a new family will become a work in progress.
Many things have tried to stand in the way of this year but through all the sadness and pain we have come to remember that it is not unto death but unto the Glory of God. He has plans for this year and so far they are getting my blood pumping in a way that only His creativity and joy can! I'm so excited to see what this chapter of my life will tell, writing it shall be more of a priority this year as I plan on making this part of my journaling experience; combining technology with my leather bound greatness of paper.
1/27/10
Otter, Beaver, Golden Retriever
Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Melancholy
Ever heard these terms before?
How about D, I, S, C?
Or even Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, Beaver?
Temperaments. These are all different ways to say the same things about what a person's tendencies in life are. We recently took a personality test here at MCOKC. It was very insightful and interesting to see how what people's personalities were and how accurate this little test can be, generally speaking of course as there are always exceptions and not everything in one personality will describe you completely.
For those of you who are reading this (and by the way thank you!) and have no idea what I am talking about, I will explain.
Everyone has a personality, everyone has tendencies and little quirks that help make them who they are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. This quiz is helpful to know yourself as well as know those around you and how to respond (not react) to one another.
Choleric (D, Lion) people are usually very take charge kind of people. They can be described as determined, dominant, dictators, and powerful among other things. They like to be in control and have things their way. They generally are your problem solvers, leaders, risk takers, direct and decisive. They can be innovative, will place high-value on being on time. They can also overstep authorities, be a bit argumentative and will try too much at once. Their greatest fear is that they will be taken advantage of. They are very direct in conflict.
Sanguine (I, Otter) people are the 'fun' people. Everything revolves around having fun. They are known as being influential, inspiring, talkative, and are generally popular. They are people oriented and very carefree. They dislike being controlled and are pretty loud. These people tend to be very enthusiastic, persuasive, optimistic and emotional. They are creative problem solvers, great at encouraging others, good motivational speakers, and have a pretty good sense of humor. They also tend to be more concerned with what others think of them as they are doing something rather than on the something they are suppose to be doing. They tend to zone out on others and be inattentive. Their greatest fear is rejection and they run from conflict.
Phlegmatic (S, Golden Retriever) people are steady. They are loyal, mediators, easy going, and peaceful. They like to take the easy way and are very service oriented. They are calm and cooperative until a sudden change happens and the boat is rocked. They also like to procrastinate. These people are usually good listeners, team players, understanding and friendly. They tend to be a bit possessive but very reliable and dependable. Patient and empathetic can be used to describe them as well. They resist change, hold grudges, but are good at reconciling conflicts when they are not involved. Their greatest fear is loss of security.
Melancholy (C, Beaver) people are competent, dedicated, thinkers, and perfectionists. They like things to be done the right way and are very analytical. They tend to be introverted and have high standards. Usually, they are very deeply gifted but they have mood swings. They are accurate, conscientious, careful, precise, fact finders, and systematic. They are pretty even tempered but very emotional. They are thorough and like to define things. They need clear cut boundaries for action and relationships. They can be bound by procedures and methods and can get bogged down in details. While they are emotional, they prefer not to be open about it. Their greatest fear is being criticized.
So if you haven't guessed by now, my title represents what I am in the order I am. I am very high Sanguine, then Melancholy and a little Phlegmatic. Apparently I didn't register high at all in Choleric like I thought I might (and as Larissa thought I would too but I probably didn't because I was in Master's Commission)
Anyway, the importance of this test and finding out what all goes into your personality is to know yourself. Once you know yourself, you can better relate to others. And once you know others' personalities, you can better relate to them. It was interesting to see all my brothers' and sisters' personality types and then think about how we relate to one another and how I should relate to them in the future. Things about each of us seem to make more sense.
Another cool thing about this test was to see people in the Bible that have the same temperament or tendencies as you. My results were David, Gideon, and Naomi. Pretty cool since I was once told I had a David's heart. =)
So here I am: Otter, Beaver, Golden Retriever!
Ever heard these terms before?
How about D, I, S, C?
Or even Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, Beaver?
Temperaments. These are all different ways to say the same things about what a person's tendencies in life are. We recently took a personality test here at MCOKC. It was very insightful and interesting to see how what people's personalities were and how accurate this little test can be, generally speaking of course as there are always exceptions and not everything in one personality will describe you completely.
For those of you who are reading this (and by the way thank you!) and have no idea what I am talking about, I will explain.
Everyone has a personality, everyone has tendencies and little quirks that help make them who they are. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. This quiz is helpful to know yourself as well as know those around you and how to respond (not react) to one another.
Choleric (D, Lion) people are usually very take charge kind of people. They can be described as determined, dominant, dictators, and powerful among other things. They like to be in control and have things their way. They generally are your problem solvers, leaders, risk takers, direct and decisive. They can be innovative, will place high-value on being on time. They can also overstep authorities, be a bit argumentative and will try too much at once. Their greatest fear is that they will be taken advantage of. They are very direct in conflict.
Sanguine (I, Otter) people are the 'fun' people. Everything revolves around having fun. They are known as being influential, inspiring, talkative, and are generally popular. They are people oriented and very carefree. They dislike being controlled and are pretty loud. These people tend to be very enthusiastic, persuasive, optimistic and emotional. They are creative problem solvers, great at encouraging others, good motivational speakers, and have a pretty good sense of humor. They also tend to be more concerned with what others think of them as they are doing something rather than on the something they are suppose to be doing. They tend to zone out on others and be inattentive. Their greatest fear is rejection and they run from conflict.
Phlegmatic (S, Golden Retriever) people are steady. They are loyal, mediators, easy going, and peaceful. They like to take the easy way and are very service oriented. They are calm and cooperative until a sudden change happens and the boat is rocked. They also like to procrastinate. These people are usually good listeners, team players, understanding and friendly. They tend to be a bit possessive but very reliable and dependable. Patient and empathetic can be used to describe them as well. They resist change, hold grudges, but are good at reconciling conflicts when they are not involved. Their greatest fear is loss of security.
Melancholy (C, Beaver) people are competent, dedicated, thinkers, and perfectionists. They like things to be done the right way and are very analytical. They tend to be introverted and have high standards. Usually, they are very deeply gifted but they have mood swings. They are accurate, conscientious, careful, precise, fact finders, and systematic. They are pretty even tempered but very emotional. They are thorough and like to define things. They need clear cut boundaries for action and relationships. They can be bound by procedures and methods and can get bogged down in details. While they are emotional, they prefer not to be open about it. Their greatest fear is being criticized.
So if you haven't guessed by now, my title represents what I am in the order I am. I am very high Sanguine, then Melancholy and a little Phlegmatic. Apparently I didn't register high at all in Choleric like I thought I might (and as Larissa thought I would too but I probably didn't because I was in Master's Commission)
Anyway, the importance of this test and finding out what all goes into your personality is to know yourself. Once you know yourself, you can better relate to others. And once you know others' personalities, you can better relate to them. It was interesting to see all my brothers' and sisters' personality types and then think about how we relate to one another and how I should relate to them in the future. Things about each of us seem to make more sense.
Another cool thing about this test was to see people in the Bible that have the same temperament or tendencies as you. My results were David, Gideon, and Naomi. Pretty cool since I was once told I had a David's heart. =)
So here I am: Otter, Beaver, Golden Retriever!
1/24/10
Clear Stone Tree Frog
You put your right hand in, you put your wrong hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself about. That's what its all about!
Um...no. lol.
So it's not all about bring right and wrong...or the hokey pokey. It's all about Jesus Christ. Everything in life boils down to our Savior on the cross. That is what I'm learning and what my mind is wrapping around right now. God doesn't care if I'm right or wrong, he doesn't care that I follow the letter of his law. He cares that I have a right relationship with his Son whom everything was created by and for. If I have a relationship with him and strive to know him...I won't need to worry about if I am right or not. How mind bendingly awesome!
So in everything I do right now, I'm trying to keep the focus on God. For I find i struggle the most when taking my eyes off of him and only concentrating on my work that has to be done.
I got a prophecy yesterday that I was a clear stone for people to see through to the other side. Yet I tended to let my clarity get clouded by confusion and when confusion came it attacked my teaching gift. So I find that if I keep focusing on God, my confusion melts away.
I've also had a word from God directly calling me his little tree frog for my soul clung to him. He reminded me of that yesterday. So if I can remember to cling to him, to look to him always I will be that clear stone.
Um...no. lol.
So it's not all about bring right and wrong...or the hokey pokey. It's all about Jesus Christ. Everything in life boils down to our Savior on the cross. That is what I'm learning and what my mind is wrapping around right now. God doesn't care if I'm right or wrong, he doesn't care that I follow the letter of his law. He cares that I have a right relationship with his Son whom everything was created by and for. If I have a relationship with him and strive to know him...I won't need to worry about if I am right or not. How mind bendingly awesome!
So in everything I do right now, I'm trying to keep the focus on God. For I find i struggle the most when taking my eyes off of him and only concentrating on my work that has to be done.
I got a prophecy yesterday that I was a clear stone for people to see through to the other side. Yet I tended to let my clarity get clouded by confusion and when confusion came it attacked my teaching gift. So I find that if I keep focusing on God, my confusion melts away.
I've also had a word from God directly calling me his little tree frog for my soul clung to him. He reminded me of that yesterday. So if I can remember to cling to him, to look to him always I will be that clear stone.
11/11/09
LA here we come!
A lot has happened. I am barely being able to keep up in my head what all we have done. God has moved me away from thinking about myself and my experience here to thinking about the group as a whole and what we need to accomplish. He is showing me that the best thing I can do for my classmates is encourage them. And it's fun! It really does bless me to be able to bless them and affirm them in who they are in Christ.
We just finished a book called Strengthening Yourself in The Lord and it was amazing. So many practical ways to call on God's strength so he can sustain us. I will probably refer to this book a lot through the year and my life in general.
This weekend was very busy and seems like a lifetime away already. Jerbarco Arnold, a former MC from CCK and dance teacher at SPA in Kirkland came down to teach us some dances for our tour. So we spend the whole weekend, from morning til evening, learning three dances. It was hard work and sometimes frustration but it was fun and well worth it to me. Even if my knee got aggravated and gave me some trouble. God is in control and these dances are really going to help us minister to God and to his people. What a wonderful way to spend out time!
This week we started a new book called Authority in Prayer and we are learning to declare things and not ask. We are moving towards knowing and understanding the power in prayer and what Authority God has given us and moving in that Authority. It's great.
Well, that is a quick update. This Saturday we are going to be on our way to LA for a Micro Soft Show to raise some money. We will be gone until the 20th, so prayers for protection and safety are welcome! Love you all!
We just finished a book called Strengthening Yourself in The Lord and it was amazing. So many practical ways to call on God's strength so he can sustain us. I will probably refer to this book a lot through the year and my life in general.
This weekend was very busy and seems like a lifetime away already. Jerbarco Arnold, a former MC from CCK and dance teacher at SPA in Kirkland came down to teach us some dances for our tour. So we spend the whole weekend, from morning til evening, learning three dances. It was hard work and sometimes frustration but it was fun and well worth it to me. Even if my knee got aggravated and gave me some trouble. God is in control and these dances are really going to help us minister to God and to his people. What a wonderful way to spend out time!
This week we started a new book called Authority in Prayer and we are learning to declare things and not ask. We are moving towards knowing and understanding the power in prayer and what Authority God has given us and moving in that Authority. It's great.
Well, that is a quick update. This Saturday we are going to be on our way to LA for a Micro Soft Show to raise some money. We will be gone until the 20th, so prayers for protection and safety are welcome! Love you all!
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