Responsibility
is a word I think about often. Sometimes I miss the days when I was a kid and
the only real responsibilities I had were listen to my parents, have fun and do
my schoolwork. Then there are days when I wonder when I will actually feel like
an adult. I thought it would be when I paid my first bill. Yeah, no. Then I
thought it would happen when I moved out of my parent’s place. Almost, but no.
Then maybe when I finally got my own car and drove around a lot by myself. Not
really. Maybe it will happen once I’m married…I’ll let ya know when that
happens if I feel like an adult then.
As I look back though, I feel (and have been told) that I
mostly carried responsibility well. It was just something you did. What I
haven’t done well is take certain responsibility for my body in all areas. I
was always a thicker child. Not really big but not skinny by any means. I got
curves early. In school it was easier to maintain a healthy weight, I did
sports until my illness took me out for three months my sophomore year of high
school. In those three months I gained like fifteen lbs thanks to bed rest and
steroids. Then my school got really small and was too small for many sports
after that. (Private school)
I danced for church and that helped me maintain but I never
really got smaller. I was okay with that mostly. But I never saw it as a
priority.
Then I moved back home last August from two years in
Master’s Commission. Things happened and I basically stopped dancing on a
regular basis. My back started hurting again as well. Here it is a little over
a year later and I’m disgusted to say I’ve gained about 20 lbs since being back
home.
One day recently God cornered me and we had a chat about my
responsibility to myself, to him and to my future family in taking care of my
body. Not only is it bad for my health but it’s bad for my ministry. I can’t
reach my full potential, I can’t be completely used the way God wants to use me
if I’m not in good physical shape. I had NEVER looked at it that way before.
So I had set a date
and picked out this cool workout schedule alternating dance and small weights strength
training (cause I hate running, tried it a few months ago and just can’t get
into it, maybe I’ll try again who knows) and then the day I wake up to start…I
have the flu. I know right? So now I’m having to re-motivate myself into
wanting to do this routine. I started today and I am so completely sore, please
pray. I’ve never been too big into exercising but when God put it into
perspective to me it means something to me now. As Paul said, the spirit is
willing but the flesh is weak. My flesh is really weak in this area. I have had
issues with weak knee and some pinched nerves in the past. I have to be really
smart about this and let the Jesus in me be my strength because I won’t be able
to do with without him.
Or encouragement/accountability. So if you are reading this,
every once in a while check on me, ask me questions and tell me to keep it up! J
It would help if I was competitive like my brother but I’m
not really. So my focus is My Lord, my ministry and my desire to have a family.
I just have to take it one day at a time.
